my everything
by Kaeru-sama
Summary: This is what matters to me. This is my everything. 'Everything' is such a big word.


A/N: I adapted this from my qualifying English paper. My teacher fixed my grammar so I was so confident with this one. Although there was only a little mistake in it so I was happy again. My teacher liked it so maybe you'll like it too. I do have to change some things…like make it appropriate for SDK.

Disclaimer: SDK is not mine. This composition is the copyright of Miharu for her English paper (lol).

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My Everything

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5th January 1898,

Kyoshiro was with me today, showing his new collection of stories. He looked happy when he was talking with me, but his eyes were layered with a thick coating of lies. I knew he was not happy. He looked frazzled, tired and easily annoyed. I only nodded when he told me a story about how nice the master was in the past. I do not want to hurt his feelings but I do not think I can put up with his dubious behavior anymore. It was too painful.

6th January 1898,

Today, Kyoshiro came again to my room, this time he brought with him some _dango_. There was some sticky looking gook on them. I kindly declined his offer for me to sample one. I was afraid to even touch them. He smiled at me, again showing off his new stories. I have to say, the stories are getting better and better each time. I knew it was a good thing to pass his free time with after all. He told me another story about the master.

7th January 1898,

Sakuya came today. She was indeed a nice woman to talk to with since I hardly ever get out of the house, let alone my room. My room was my sanctuary, my haven. Writing my thoughts out was my passion. Sakuya was a beautiful woman with long dark brown hair and also dark brown eyes. She had pale skin. She talked to me about her engagement with Kyoshiro and how lucky I was to be cared under him. She did not know me to begin with.

8th January 1898,

Kyoshiro let my friend, Tokito, into my room finally. Tokito had grown beautiful since the last time I saw her. Her dusty blond hair now hung loosely from her shoulders, covering her chest. She now looked like her mother. She seemed to be happy to see me after so long. I only smiled when she told me the events happening outside the house, outside the family. Her marriage with Akira was going rather well. I loved and hated the way she grasped my hands when she told me her stories. It was as if she was holding on tight to me, vowing to never let go.

9th January 1898,

Kyoshiro came again to talk to me. This time, he brought with him a small book. I tried to hide my dislike when he showed me the contents. It was about the master. I froze when there was a passage about how much he loved me and how much he wished me to be happy. That thing made my blood boil in fury. How I hoped he rots in Hell. Such a disgrace of a man he was.

10th January 1898,

I had nightmares last night. It was about 'that day' when I lost everything I own. I jerked up awake and found myself sweating and crying. I hated this feeling. The fear, the loathing, the hatred I felt…they all came back to me. How could he do this to me?! Why did he have to remind me of that man?! Why?! I thought he was my friend.

11th January 1898,

Nobody came to visit me today. I occupied myself with just reading my past writings. It had been a while since I last wrote anything other than writing all this. I hope Kyoshiro will never find out about this. This book is everything I have left now.

12th January 1898,

Kyoshiro came again today. With him was another man. He was tall, handsome but he had graying hair. He smiled at me as he sat on my bed. He said he was just doing a daily check-up on me since it had been a while since I have seen the sun outside. He told me reassuringly that I was recovering steadily. Kyoshiro then whispered something to him and he again checked me. He only nodded and left when I asked him what was wrong. I just noticed today how my stomach was getting bigger.

13th January 1898,

I just noticed that I had missed my monthly cycle. It was odd, I was always healthy. When Kyoshiro came in, I asked him if it was okay for me to ask for Sakuya. When Sakuya came in, I asked her if it was normal for me to miss it. She looked surprised but only nodded. She told me that we can sometimes miss them. I believed her.

13th February 1898,

I looked at myself in the mirror today. I was getting fat. I asked Kyoshiro if I could jog or just walk outside since I was feeling well but he loudly declined my request. He told me to just sleep. Sleep will eat up my fat, he says. He came in later after that, bringing a cup of tea.

14th March 1898,

I noticed that I missed another cycle. Kyoshiro told me that according to Sakuya, it was a normal thing to happen. He told me to just rest but I was bothered. That handsome man came again in the evening, doing another check-up on me. I asked him whether or not I was healthy that I had missed my cycles. He just looked at me sadly. He told me that his name was Hishigi, just in case I ask of his presence in the future.

16th June 1989,

This book is the only thing I have with me now. I was angry at myself for believing their lies. I was getting fatter than before. It was a right thing to do when Tokito visited me. I asked for her help to take me out of the house. She reluctantly did so. With the help of Akira, I ran away. Tokito is everything I have now as a family, along with Akira. Tokito understands me the most. She took me to see a doctor.

17th June 1898,

I am pregnant. I am pregnant. I am having a baby. I am expecting a child. I know I am too young for this. It is, I know for sure it was Kyo's child as he was the only man to have ever touched me in the most intimate ways. I love him still. If he was still alive, I knew he would be so overjoyed. The master took everything away from me, from us. I hate him.

4th September 1898,

Kyoshiro found me. He now knows where I live. I had hoped hard that he would never find me. Tokito told me to run because Kyoshiro had the very weapon which killed Kyo. He was sent by the Elders to kill me…and Kyo's child. Tokito gave me money. I do not know where to go. I must go far away, that I am sure of.

25th December 1898,

Snow. It is snowing today. Little Kyo is so cute. In this small house, I have gone through various misgivings. I missed Tokito the most. She was so nice to me. She helped me run away from Kyoshiro and the others. Kyoshiro was evil. Kyoshiro still collected stories. I could sense it. He was the same like that man. He took away my treasured person. I hate my family, they took away everything. I miss writing. I cannot imagine this to be continued further, should they find me. This is such a sad journal. My memories will forever be in this book. I hope when I look back in the future, if I have one that is, I will be able to look back into my life. Looking back, my life is made up of melancholic nightmares. Kyo's dead, Tokito's dead, Akira's dead and Kyoshiro wants ME dead. I cannot die yet. Little Kyo needs me. I am his everything as he is mine.

'Everything' is such a big word.

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A/N: I await your feedback since it's my real composition anyway. According to my friend (I was absent for a LONG time), my teacher read this out to the whole class and they liked it…I dunno if it was true. I think it makes more sense if it wasn't for SDK I guess.


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